Is that for real?

Yes. I do not walk around wearing a stick-on stache. This is 100%, all me.

How did you get it to curl like that?

It's all natural, but I do like to keep it neat with a little wax.

Why do you do it?

Because I value the image of the Monopoly man and the wisdom of Ron Swanson, a.k.a because it's fun.

But what does your wife think?

She said it's growing on her, although it's actually growing on me. Thank you, I'll be here all week.

Can I touch it?

Uhhh no. Boundaries.

Can I take a picture with you?

Sure. Do you have 5 dollars? I take cash or credit.

Does it itch or tickle?

No, but it is a pain to eat bagels with.

Congratulations!

You discovered my Easter Egg/FAQ page! Now return to the world with a sense an unbridled sense of accomplishment and let me know on Twitter, if you'd like.